Monday, July 30, 2012

Day 16: Words and Fuck

Words are very interesting. I just watched a very interesting documentary called "Fuck"


 We have, as humans, defined words based on how we see them in our own mind. There are so many different interpretations of just one word. This is because we define words according to our own minds and thoughts and experiences and emotions and feelings and memories and imaginations and pre-programming.

If we define the words in our language based on our emotions and feelings and thoughts and memories and experiences and imaginations and pre-programming then we really don't know how to communicate with each other because each individual word is going to mean something different to each individual here.

 So... this language that we use to communicate is not very direct. How can we communicate effectively if we have different definitions for each word we use in our language?

So I have came to the realization that a part of being able to bring about a world that is best for all Life is by changing the definitions of the words we speak and live as - doing this would allow us to effectively communicate with each other as all as one as equal.

More to come...

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Day 15: Self-Interest Part 2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to half ass my way through my psychology class instead of realizing that I caused unnecessary stress based on self-interest. Based on doing what I want to do and when I want to do it.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize when I have the opportunity to stop myself when/as I am living in/as self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself live within/as energy throughout my day, accepting and allowing myself to walk throughout my day based on energy.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I am living here one day at a time that I am accepting and allowing energy to control when and what I do according to how I feel at the time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear living my daily life without energy being in charge of when I take on responsibilities.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to live here breath by breath in the physical because of fearing the absence of energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing energy to be the force that controls me when I take on responsibilities and what responsibilities I take on.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize/see/understand that when and as I do what I want to do and when I want to do it that I am separating myself  from myself and from others by living in complete self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as bad when I am living in self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I judge myself as "bad" that I am living according to my own self-created "Moral" character.

I realize when I have the opportunity to stop myself when/as I am living in/as self-interest.

I realize that when I am living here one day at a time that I am accepting and allowing energy to control when and what I do according to how I feel at the time.

I realize that when and as I stop myself in moments of self-interest that I will be met with resistance.

I realize and accept that when I stop myself in moments of self-interest that I have to walk through these moments without the feeling/buzz/high of energy. 

I realize that when and as I do what I want to do and when I want to do it that I am separating myself  from myself and from others and thus from all life by living in self-interest.

I realize that I have judged myself for living in self-interest.

I realize and accept that my self-interest isn't going to disappear all of a sudden.  I realize and accept that stopping myself self-interest is a process that must be walked breath by breath.

When and as I notice/see myself doing things when I want to do them, putting responsibilities off until I feel like doing them - I Stop and I Breathe. I do not accept or allow to take on my responsibilities based on when I feel like doing them. Instead I take on the responsibility that I am blinding myself from seeing-as I know what the responsibility is because of wanting to put it off/hide from it.

When and as I notice/see myself judging myself for living within/as self-interest - I Stop and I Breathe. I do not accept or allow myself to judge myself for noticing when/as I am living based on self-interest. Instead I walk through the judgements I have about myself breath by breath-as this is the only way I am able to stop this self-judgement.

I commit myself to stop myself when/as I notice that energy is controlling when and what responsibilities I do.

I commit myself to direct myself when and as I notice energy and/or self-interest directing me.

I commit myself to stop the self-interest that exists within/as me when I notice that I am living within/as self-interest/energy.

I commit myself to stop judging myself as good/bad based on the "Moral" Character that I have created.

I commit myself to investigate all parts of this "Moral" Character that I play/act out.





Saturday, July 28, 2012

Day 14: Self-Interest

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live my life based on self-interest.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have been living my life based on what is best for myself and my self-interest instead of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my self-interest control my daily habits and daily routine.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize/see/understand that I have lived my whole life based on self-interest, living for what is based on my own self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live according to my own self-interest instead of realizing that I am a part of this existence and that this existence doesn't revolve around me, myself, and my own self-interests. I realize that I am an equal participant here on this Earth. I realize and accept myself as an Equal Participant Living Here in the Physical.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I live according to my own self-interest that I am living my life based on desires/wants.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my desires/wants to control when I take responsibility for myself

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I live according to my self-interests that I am only living for what is best for myself in that very moment - not realizing that I use energy in order for me to momentarily feel better about myself not realizing that this use of energy blinds me from living here in the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live and do things based on Energy not realizing that when I live according to Energy that I am only living according to my own self-interest. I realize self-interest and energy are connected. I realize that living according to what is Best For All does not involve energy.

I commit myself to stop myself when and as I notice myself going into an energetic state of mind in order to make myself feel better for a little while - not realizing that the "happiness" I feel while going into an energetic state of mind is only temporary and will eventually run out.

I commit myself to investigate all areas of myself that are based on self-interest and the energy that is involved with this self-interest.

I commit myself to investigate all the desires/wants that exist within/as me - realizing that all desires/wants are based on energy and within this I commit myself to notice and investigate when desires/wants come up.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I notice myself going into an energetic state of mind - as I can feel when my body goes into an energetic state so within this I take responsibility for myself when and as I notice myself going into an energetic state of mind. 







Friday, July 27, 2012

Day 13: I am Moral and You are not Part 4

Here is another status update on facebook that I reacted to "Please pray for the hearts of the Breathitt Regional Juvenile Detention Center.I do praise - worship and a message every Thursday night if anyone would like to add it to your prayer lists !Thanks !

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when I saw the status "Please pray for the hearts of the Breathitt Regional Juvenile Detention Center.I do praise - worship and a message every Thursday night if anyone would like to add it to your prayer lists !Thanks !"

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I reacted with anger to this fb status because I expect this person to see everything like I do - which verifies my "Moral" Character.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I react to such statements that I am focused on how everyone else should change instead of focusing on me and what I accept and allow within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on other people and things outside of myself instead of focusing on me and what I accept and allow myself to exist as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame other people and things outside of myself for why the world is the way it is not realizing that when I blame other people and things outside of myself that I am only blinding myself from what I accept and allow myself to exist as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I am judging another that I am judging myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I judge other people as not "Moral" according to this self-created character when I react to the fb status "Please pray for the hearts of the Breathitt Regional Juvenile Detention Center.I do praise - worship and a message every Thursday night if anyone would like to add it to your prayer lists !Thanks !"'

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I judge Christians based on my past and what I have witnessed within growing up in the church as this is when I started to notice my parents talking bad about others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I judged other church members who I heard my parents talk bad about while at home when I was young - not realizing that I later went on to judging them as bad people when I saw them in the church or at any church related activities.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that these thoughts/judgements of other church members were installed by hearing my parents talk about certain people while I was in one room and they were in another room - hearing them behind closed doors.

I realize/see/understand that the I started to judge other human beings at a very young age because I witnessed my parents doing it.

When and as I notice myself reacting to any religious person whether online or in the flesh. I Stop, I Breathe. I do not accept or allow myself to justify in my mind why I think they are wrong. I realize that when I justify in my mind why I think they are wrong that I am living/acting as a "Moral" Character. Instead I stop the thought/judgement - realizing that the very thought/judgement is based on being "Moral".

I commit myself to stop myself when and as I notice/see this "Moral" Character come up within me - stopping whenever I notice that I want to prove to myself and another that I am right and they are wrong.

I commit myself to stop when I notice myself wanting to prove myself as  "Moral" to other people and myself.

I commit myself to focus and investigate myself instead of other people or things outside of myself.

I commit myself to investigate all of the patterns/habits/thoughts that I exist as. 









 



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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Day 12: College=Elite

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an angry state of mind when I am studying, having thoughts like "this is a waste of time" "I am only learning knowledge left-brain information" instead of realizing that I am studying in order to get a degree and that I must go through what is necessary to graduate. I realize and accept that I have to study what I don't want to study in order to get as degree.
 I commit myself to stop myself when and as I notice myself thinking thoughts such as "this is a waste of time" "I am only learning knowledge left-brain information". 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I would have more time to "change" myself if I wasn't going to school instead of realizing that I am blaming going to school for not taking responsibility for what I accept and allow myself to exist as. I realize that I am blaming the time required to go to school for not taking responsibility for the patterns that I accept and allow myself to exist as. I commit myself to investigate and take responsibility for me and only me because taking responsibility for myself and what I accept and allow is taking responsibility for what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I use my studies as a way to distract myself from what I accept and allow myself to exist as - blinding myself from what I accept and allow. I realize that I distract myself with school in order to not take responsibility for what I accept and allow. I commit myself to notice and FlagPoint when I am letting the responsibilities I have with school blind me from seeing what I accept and allow myself to exist as.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am apart of the Elite of this World because I have the opportunity to go to college and have a flushing toilet that was partly based on where I was born at on this planet.  I commit myself to stand for what is best for all life which is the opportunity to be educated and to have a toilet therefore I commit myself to stand for all life until all life is treated equally.






Monday, July 23, 2012

Day 11: Part 3 - I am Moral and You are Not

I saw this status by someone on facebook that I go to school with, "So stoked for school to start, can't wait to start interacting with my fellow Jesus freaks at Chi Alpha, and my musician homies!" and I reacted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when I saw someone's fb status " So stoked for school to start, can't wait to start interacting with my fellow Jesus freaks at Chi Alpha, and my musician homies!" because I believe this person who wrote this to be living in separation instead of realizing that I am living in separation because of my very reaction to the status.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from those who are Christians and those who support the military not realizing that when I react to someone who is a Christian or someone who supports the military that I am wishing that they could see beyond their belief systems which confirms that I don't want to see beyond my own belief systems and characters that I live as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I saw the status "So stoked for school to start, can't wait to start interacting with my fellow Jesus freaks at Chi Alpha, and my musician homies!" that I wanted to post something on facebook that would verify my secret "Moral" character that wants to tell others they are wrong for believing in what they do.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by reacting to this status that I am confirming my own "Moral" mind system that wants to go into war with those who don't agree with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize when this "Moral" Character comes up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that we have all been programmed into our own individual beLIEf systems and that challenging these belief systems that exist within me and others will be met with resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I have to take on the belief systems and characters that exist within/as me and within this stand as a living example that is best for all life equal and one.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can help those who live according to belief systems not realizing that I to have belief systems.

I realize that I cannot change someone else's belief systems and that I can only investigate and change my own in ways that is best for all and to stand as the living example.

I realize that when I react to someone who is Christian or who supports the military that I am reacting according to the "Moral" character that exists within me.

When and as I notice someone's facebook status that may stand for Christianity or the military - I Stop and I Breathe. I do not accept or allow myself to desire/want to come back with another status or picture that may offend them and their belief system. I realize that when I want to come back with something that may challenge another's belief system that this want/desire of trying to prove them wrong with a status or picture is only in the mind as a "Moral" Character. Instead I realize that programs inside of me are clashing with programs inside of them and simply let it go and forgive myself when and as I notice myself reacting to such things.

I commit myself to investigate when I notice myself reacting to a Christian.

I commit myself to investigate when I notice myself reacting to someone who supports the military.

I commit myself to investigate all the belief systems that exist within/as me.

I commit myself to live and stand as a living example that is best for all. 

I commit myself to notice and Stop when and as I notice myself wanting to prove myself as a "Moral" Character to another.



Day 10: Part 2 - I am Moral and You are Not

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I judge others as good or bad according to what I believe to be 'Moral'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what I think is right or wrong applies to all human beings instead of realizing that I am just judging others as good or bad according to what I think is "Moral".

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I am judging others according to what I think is "Moral" that I am also judging myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and other human beings not realizing that when I judge myself and others according to what I think is "Moral" that I am living in separation which allows for self-judgement and judgement of others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I judge others that I am also judging myself and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I judge myself that I will inevitabley end up judging others as well.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the polarity effects of judging one's self and others. I realize that when I judge myself or others that I am always actually judging myself. 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that changing myself in ways that is best for all means that I must change my patterns and habits that I live as and characters that I have become.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that changing myself in ways that is best for all is going to take time as I have created myself in ways that are based on self-interest. I realize that I have to undo what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and that this will take as much time as it did for me to create it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I am judging myself and others according to what I think is "Moral" that I am living according to what is best for my Ego and living in separation with life as living according to what one considers "Moral" is based on self-interest.

I commit myself to notice myself when I am judging myself or another.

I commit myself to live in ways that are best for all instead of ways that are based on what I have created and believed to be as "Moral" which is self-interest.

I commit myself to notice and see when I am judging another person in my secret mind and when I notice this I commit myself to bring my attention back to Self to look at why I would be judging them in the first place.

I commit myself to look at myself when and as I notice myself judging other people according to what I believe to be "Moral". 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Day 9: I am Moral and You are Not

 Within my last blog I talked about taking on one point at a time because of the too-much-ness that comes up within me. So I am looking at myself and have a character that I have found. It is a "Moral" character. I think I am moral and know what morals are all about. Sometimes I post pictures on fb just to see if I can get a rise out of someone and it usually does. I try to get a rise out of some people because I know they don't live according to what I think is 'Moral'.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a charcter that is 'Moral' and within this character accept and allow myself to judge others as 'Moral' or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself and others according to this self-created 'Moral' Character.

I forgive myself not accepting and allowing myself to realize that being 'Moral' only separates me from myself and others by judging myself and others according to this 'Moral Character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I judge myself and others according to this 'Moral' Character and if I don't see myself and others according to this 'Moral' Character that judgement will come up automatically based on this 'Moral' Character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve that there is something such as a 'Moral' person not realizing that being 'Moral' is only a way of separation and that morality doesn't actually exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I use the word 'Moral' that I am looking at things, myself, other people in terms of good or bad and therefore will judge things, myself and others according to if they are good or bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want to prove myself as 'Moral' by getting a rise out of myself and others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I live out this 'Moral' Character that I am looking for ways to prove to myself to others of how I am 'Moral' and how they are not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live according to this self-created 'Moral' Character.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that how I have defined being 'Moral' is based on self-interest in the way of wanting other people to think I am special or to prove to others that they are not 'Moral' and that they are wrong and that I am right and 'Moral'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from others of whom I see as not living up to this self-created 'Moral' Character.

I realize that I have created a character that acts and lives according to what is 'Moral'.

I realize that there is no such thing as 'Morality' as being 'Moral' is only a way to judge one's self and others according to a character that was created in the mind.

I realize that I am only separating myself from myself and others by living out this 'Moral' Character.

I realize that 'Morality' doesn't exist because it only causes self-judgement and judgement of others which is just separation.

I realize that living according to what is best for all will challenge this self-created 'Moral' character. 

When and as I see myself living and thinking about how to prove myself or verify this 'Moral' Character I stop and breathe. I do not accept or allow myself to judge myself and others according to what I think is right and wrong. Instead I live according to what is best for myself and what is best for others which is what is Best For All

I commit myself to investigate all of the characters that I have created within/as me.

I commit myself to stop myself when and as I notice I am existing as this self-created 'Moral' Character.

I commit myself to live according to what is Best For All instead of what this self-created 'Moral' Character considers right or wrong.

I commit myself to investigate myself and all the patterns that are played out by this 'Moral' Character that I have become.

I commit myself to stopping myself when and as I notice myself trying to prove or justify myself to myself and others according to this self-created 'Moral' Character. 




Thursday, July 19, 2012

Day 8: There is just so much to take on

There is a lot of shit that I have to walk through. Sometimes I don't even know where to begin. I tend to have thoughts like "oh I need to look at this" or "this is another thing I need to investigate" and random times throughout the day these thoughts arise. They are all worthy to investigate but they come up so often that I get distracted and don't know where to begin. It is a too-much-ness or overwhelmingness. This has existed within me on and off ever since I have started this process.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed within this process to the point of standing still, not knowing how to walk or what to take on. I realize that there will be many points that I have to walk through and I realize that the only way to take this on is to take on one point at a time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to give up because everything in this process seems like too much to take on. I realize and accept that the way to stop these overwhelming emotions is to take on one point at a time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be overwhelmed with all of the points that I will have to take on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be overwhelmed to the point of feeling like I can't breathe.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that excessive amounts of thinking results in feelings of overwhelmingness and feeling as if I can't breathe. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about all the points I have to take on instead of realizing that thinking about all these points takes me away from effectively taking on one point at a time. I realize that when I think about all the different things that I accept and allow within/as me that I blind myself from effectively taking on one point at a time. When and as I notice myself thinking about multiple points to take on - I stop and breathe. I do not accept or allow myself to become overwhelmed with everything that I accept and allow myself to exist as. Instead I take on the one point that I am working on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that taking on one point at a time is the only way to stop this too-much-ness feeling that exists within/as me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow down and breathe when I feel overwhelmed.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that one cannot take on too much at a time - as being overwhelmed with all the points one must take on emits a lot of unnecessary amounts of thinking. 

I commit myself to take on one point at a time in my process instead of jumping around and back and forth between points with no clear understanding of what I am taking on.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I am flooded with thoughts about what I will eventually have to investigate and sort out.

I commit myself to investigate what I accept and allow within one singular point, committing myself to the very point I am investigating.

I commit myself to investigate one point at a time and within this investigate all areas that are connected to that singular point, as all areas that are connected to one singular point are part of that singular point.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Day 7: He has a billy club and the other guy has a boxcutter knife.

Some crazy shit happened yesterday. I was hanging out at my friend's place who has two kids and a wife. They live in a very bad neighborhood. We were sitting out back listening to music and talking, drinking a few beers. My friend went inside to check on his wife and his 7 week old baby. So I was sitting outside and I saw these two guys creeping around in the alley and they ended up walking up to the yard saying "Hey you! Come here". So I walked up to them and one had a billy club and the other had a boxcutter knife thing, hiding behind their backs. They were looking for the guy who lived in the opposite side of the duplex. They told me they were gonna beat the shit out of him because he supposedly pulled a gun on one of them in front of his girlfriend and child. The two guys were asking me if I knew he was home so they could jump him. My friend back came outside and was told about what was going to happen. Meanwhile his girlfriend was freaking out, looking out the window to see what was going on. One of the guys said "Is she calling the cops? We aren't fucking around here, She better not call the cops." My friend went back to the other side of the duplex to see if the guy was there so him and his children didn't have to witness what was going to happen. I was standing there kind of shaking, not knowing what to do. They told me they had other people on two sides of the block standing around basically surrounding the duplex. My friend came back after going inside telling his wife what was going on.. They were on drugs obviously and kept saying how they were going to kill him. I was scared shitless. My friend's wife came outside balling her eyes. She was explaining that she did not want this happening around her children and so they said they weren't going to do it that night. (She has to hear the girl who lives on the other side of the duplex getting beat up regularly)







We went inside and hid in the basement for hours not knowing what to do. We didn't want to call the cops because they said if we did they would kick our ass. Unfortunetly there are two places to park in front of the duplex and I parked on the side where the hunted person lived as I have many times. So these guys who were hunting for the guy who lived there thought my car was his. So I got my tired slashed, side mirror knocked out, my gas tank was set on fire. There was a twig under my side tire by the gas tank. I guess they thought it would help blow up the gas tank.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the people who damaged my car, judging them as evil drug addicts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the people who damaged my car didn't mean to damage my car but the person they were hunting.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I could have been partly responsible for my friend's neighbor getting hurt or even killed because we did not call the police because of the fear of being hurt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that my friend's neighbor deserved to get hurt because my car got damaged. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be overwhelmed with fear during the situation of two other people hunting down my friend's neighbor not realizing that they were demon possessed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the neighbor who was being hunted was responsible for my car being damaged not realizing that I cannot know the full story of the situation because I can't place myself in his shoes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people I see walking around in my friend's neighborhood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think my mom will blame me and get pissed at me for my car or actually the car she gave me for getting damaged.

I commit myself to stay out of my friend's neighborhood or to go to his house unless he his wife or kids needs my support.

I commit myself to stop judgement of those who live in bad neighborhoods as I have no idea what it is like to live in a bad neighborhood.

I commit myself to call the police if someone tells me they are going to kill someone else.

I commit myself to stop my fear of demon possessed human beings and to realize that there is no reason to fear someone who is demon possessed because I am only fearing mind systems that exist within them.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Day 6: Reptilians are Here Today

 Before I researched Desteni I was interested in all kinds of things. All of these things were just a way for me to escape reality by creating thoughts of what I beLIEved to be true so I didn't have to take responsibility for myself and what I accept and allow. I was so consumed by conspiracy theories and the NWO, the Illuminati. I was convinced that shape-shifting reptilians were on this earth and underground beneath the earth. I read all kinds of shit about reptilians and how they eat people and how they were partly responsible for the missing children. I was convinced that some of our world leaders were shape-shifting reptilians. Bloodlines of the world leaders was another thing I was interested in.

All of this shit can make your mind spin around and around. It is good entertainment; I was definitely entertained. What I realize is all of this "entertainment" is just entertainment to distract us from what we accept and allow ourselves to exist as.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create ideas in my mind of how I beLIEve things work in the world not realizing that these creations that I have created in my mind are only creations and have nothing to do with this physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be entertained by conspiracy theories, family bloodlines, the Illuminati, and aliens.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I entertain myself with conspiracy theories, family bloodlines, the Illuminati, and aliens that I am taking myself away from being here in the physical and going into the mind creating thoughts and ideas that make it more difficult to see what I accept and allow myself to exist as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that these conspiracy theories, NWO, alien obsessions that existed within me was blinding me from what I accept and allow within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve my own self-created thoughts, and to believe that what I have read and watched about conspiracy theories, reptilians, aliens, the Illuminati, etc.. are real not realizing that what I have read and watched was only information that I took in and then created ideas/thoughts of how I think things really are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I know all the secrets of conspiracies, aliens, etc.. which blinds me from the secrets that exist within/as me.

I commit myself to stopping the mind when I notice my mind is creating thoughts about conspiracy theories.

I commit myself to stop being entertained by conspiracy theories for the sake of being entertained.

I commit myself to investigate the secrets that exist within/as me instead of investigating the conspiracy theories that may or may not exist on this planet.

I commit myself to stop the mind when I notice that I am creating ideas and illusions based on knowledge and information.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Day 5:Responsibilities and Multitasking Part 2

I commit myself to take on my responsibilities one at a time.

I commit myself to walk through the fear and boredom/lack of attention that may come up when taking on one responsibility at a time.

I commit myself to walk through the specific responsibility at hand until it is done even if I don't feel a high/buzz of energy.

I commit myself to walk through the lack of focus that may come up when I am taking on one task at a time.

I commit myself to take on one task at a time no matter how slow I may need to take it.

I commit myself to walk through the resistance of wanting to stop the specific task that I am taking on.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Day 4: Responsbilities and Multitasking Part 1

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to multitask between different actions/tasks instead of taking on one task at a time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not wanting to take on one task at a time because I think I may become bored or won't be able to sustain my attention long enough on that individual task.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I multitask so that I can receive a steady high/buzz of energy throughout my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that multitasking is a helpful/supportive way of approaching my daily activities instead of realizing that multitasking is going from one task to another and back and forth resulting in excessive amounts of thinking.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that multitasking results in not being able to focus on one thing at a time and the more I multitask the more I take myself away from being able to focus my attention on the specific task at hand.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I tend to multitask when I am in a hurry to get something done which has manifested into more and more multitasking in my daily life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that multitasking is based on energy and wanting to get a high/buzz of energy within doing my daily responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to multitask through my daily responsibilities beLIEving that I am actually being productive by multitasking through my responsibilities.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the anxieties that come up during my day are partly due to my habit of multitasking through my responsibilities.

To Be Continued...




Day 3: responsibilities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that writing and applying self-forgiveness on a daily basis will conflict with the class I am taking right now instead of realizing that I don't prioritize my time effectively because of doing what I want and when I want to do it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do what I want and when I want to do it, not realizing that doing what I want and when I want to do it whether it is a task/responsibility is based on the energetic high that I receive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing energetic highs to control my behavior instead of directing myself to take responsibility when I don't 'feel' like it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame other things outside of myself like the class I am taking right now and taking care of the chickens and practicing my horn, using these actions/tasks as an excuse to justify why I should not write and apply self-forgiveness on a daily basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve that I cannot write on a daily basis because of other responsibilities that I may have. 

I commit myself to take responsibility for my obligations that must be done in order for me to graduate school.

I commit myself to take responsibility for the things that need to be done in the very moment it needs to be done 

I commit myself to take on my responsibilities one moment at a time instead of letting energy control when I take on my responsibilities.

I commit myself to take on the responsibilities that I have to face like studying for my psy class, taking care of the chickens and practicing my horn.

I commit myself to write and apply self-forgiveness every day even if I have other responsibilities.




Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Day 2: Shit she is hot!

So I plan to hang out with this girl tonight. We have hung out a few times with other friends, like a group thing and always had fun. She seems very cool. But she is also very attractive and that is hanging in the back of my mind. It is as if I can't even be myself around her because I think she is so hot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think "she is so damn hot".

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I have thoughts such as "she is so damn hot" that I left this reality and entered into another one that is self-created based on wanting/desiring sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let how attractive I think a female is to trigger thoughts of want/desire to have sex instead of simply conversing with the particular female I am talking with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing sexual thoughts to influence how and when I talk to females.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking to females whom I think are attractive because I might end up having sexual thoughts towards them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore females whom I think are attractive who are conversing around me in any type of situation because I might have sexual back chat. 


I commit myself to notice and flagpoint when I talk to an attractive female and have sexual thoughts towards her.

I commit myself to talk to anyone no matter how attractive I think they are.

I commit myself to face talking to any female, not accepting and allowing sexual backchat to limit who I talk to.

Day 1: Fearing the Journy of Life

So here I am, starting my journey to life. I don't feel ready to do this. A funny thing is when I first started to post on the desteni forum I said the exact same thing "I don't feel ready" to write/share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel not ready to write on a daily basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel that I won't be consistent in my writing on a daily basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that what I feel towards not being consistent is of the mind and is not real but only a thought.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think "I won't be consistent in my writing on a daily basis".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect perfection in writing on a daily basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear writing on a daily basis because I might miss a day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear missing a day of writing.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I fear missing a day of writing because I wonder/care what others will think of me if I miss a day of writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my own thoughts of what 'I' think others think about me to control when I write instead of being directive in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what 'I' think others 'Think' about me is real instead of realizing that it is a self-creation that I create in my mind in order to make myself beLIEve that I am good or acceptable.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what I think others think about me is actually a self-created character that I have created in my own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live according to the self-created character that I have created in my own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go blank when writing this self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go blank in this moment.

I commit myself to write everyday for myself, in order to find out the patterns that exist within/as me.

I commit myself to write even though I may have thoughts of how others will judge me.

I commit myself to write for myself instead of what I think in my own mind of how others think I should write or be writing.

I commit myself to write and investigate myself and the patterns that exist within/as me.