Monday, August 6, 2012

Day 20: No weed for 21 days



I have had some trouble so far figuring out how/what to write about in regards to stopping weed for 21 days.What I am going to take on is not smoking weed for 21 days.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think “I wonder if I can really stop smoking weed for 21 days.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the thought “I wonder if I can really stop smoking weed for 21 days.” is connected to a fear of failing.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this fear of failing in my attempt to stopping weed for 21 days is directed related to my desire of being successful in stopping for 21 days.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself not realizing that the fear of failing and desire of wanting to be successful is self-judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself before I have even started.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the fear of failing and desire of being successful in stopping weed for 21 days is a thought about the future that is not real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as if I am facing a wall right now, not knowing what part of my relationship towards weed to start with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go blank.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as if there is too-much to dive into and write about that I don’t know where to start.

I commit myself to stop smoking weed for 21 days.

I commit myself to stop myself whenever I notice myself thinking “I wonder if I can really stop smoking weed for 21 days”

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I notice myself fearing that I might fail at stopping weed for 21 days.

I commit myself to notice when and as I am thinking of wanting to be the person who can stop weed for 21 days and not the person who can’t stop causing myself to judge myself based on wanting to be the person who can stop weed for 21 days.

I commit myself to stop futuristic thoughts of how I will or will not fail at stopping weed for 21 days.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I notice myself not knowing where to start with, feeling as if there is just too much to write about and investigate.






1 comment:

  1. 20 days! Cool Jonathan. A point that could be cool to look at is the backchat you see that you're participating within and as towards the point of smoking - especially the 'little sneaky ones' that sounds like a whisper in the corner of your mind.

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