Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Day 39: Sex and Smoking Weed

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect smoking weed to the act of having sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself hold onto the memories of me and my ex-girlfriends smoking before having sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memories of me and my ex-girlfriend laying naked together on the bed and smoking weed before and after having sex.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have connected smoking weed to having sex because of the memories of doing so with my ex-girlfriends.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can pleasure the girl I am having sex with better if I am high and that I know what she wants because I can "feel" what she wants instead of realizing that this "feel" is based on the high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to purposely smoke weed before having sex because I think it makes sex feel better not realizing that I am limiting the possibility of how sex can really be.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by believing that smoking weed makes sex better that I will believe that not smoking weed before will make sex less enjoyable and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the act of having sex.

When and as I notice myself thinking of the memories of smoking weed and having sex with my ex-girlfriends I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have based the act of having sex on the memories of getting high and having sex with my ex-girlfriends. I realize that connecting the act of sex to getting high actually limits the experience of having sex with another. I commit myself to have sex without getting high as I know this separates me from the very act of having sex.








 

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