Friday, September 14, 2012

Day 45: Time and Self-Interest


The other day I kept hitting the snooze button in order to sleep more. This happens a few times a week. I wake up and hit the snooze button. After I end up actually waking up I have thoughts/emotions of that my whole day is ruined. Sometimes I stay up late and need the extra sleep but this is all based on how I choose to spend my time. I sleep in because I want/desire more sleep. I stay up late because of my self-interest type of activities during the day. So I live my life based on self-interest which results in worrying about the time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having enough time to complete the responsibilities that I have set out for myself not realizing that I am responsible for my own responsibilities and when I do them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “there is just not enough time in one day” to an emotional experience of fear thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear. I realize that I place my own self-interest before my responsibilities which results in me going into an emotional state of fearing that there is not enough time to do everything that I have set out for myself to do in one day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think “there is just not enough time in one day” instead of realizing that this thought is triggered when I run out of time near the end of the day because of my own self-interest type of activities that I participate in during the day like spending extra time on facebook, listening to music, socializing, or spending time on youtube thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my self-interest before my responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my whole day is ruined when I hit the snooze and wake up late not realizing that I think my day is ruined because I can't complete all of the things I have set out for myself to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to set unrealistic goals for myself instead of setting goals that are realistic and that can be completed in one day. I realize that I set unrealistic goals that I think I can complete in one day that are part of an image that I have created of who I want myself to be and I realize that by setting smaller goals for myself that I can actually follow through and that following through with these smaller realistic goals won't satisfy the made up image of how I want to be and that following through with these small realistic goals will be met with resistance because of the made up image I have created of how I want myself to live.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear managing my own time and responsibilities because I think there is just too much stuff to do in one day not realizing that I have set unrealistic ideas of what can be accomplished in one day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create images in my head of all my responsibilities being done that I have set out for myself instead of walking through each point I have set out for myself breath by breath. I realize that I make up images in my mind of all the things that I want to do in one day being done before I have even began going through them in the physical.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that you can only take on one thing at a time, breath by breath.







I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I think there is too much stuff to do in one day because I place my own self-interest before my own responsibilities and that placing my own self-interest before my responsibilities will result in me thinking there is too much stuff to do in one day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my desires/wants to control when I take on my own responsibilities not realizing that when I place my self-interest before my own responsibilities that I end up going to sleep very late resulting in me waking up and hitting the snooze button.



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