Monday, October 1, 2012

Day 56: I am cool because I smoke weed

 This is a continuation Day 22: Weed and "Creativity"
                                 Day 23: Weed and "Creativity" cont...
                                 Day 52: Smelling Weed

I have been giving things away that remind me of weed ever since I quit. I just gave away a pipe and grinder and a poster of Bob Marley smoking a bong. I have had this poster for many years, ever since I started college. I remember thinking that I was cool or “open minded” because I had this poster. I wanted other people who came to my dorm to notice this poster in my secret mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in my mind as an “open minded person” because of smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want others to think of me as an “open minded person” who smokes weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am unique and different than other people because of smoking weed, thinking that smoking weed makes me different and an “open minded person”.




I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have defined myself in my own mind as a stoner who is an “open minded person” thinking that being an “open minded person” because of smoking weed will help me meet cool people and that these people will like me because of  this "stoner" character I was living out.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have defined myself as a stoner because I want to stand out and be different compared to other people and within this I realize that thinking I am unique or different or open minded because I smoke weed has nothing to do with being unique/different or open minded and that this want/desire of wanting to be seen as different, unique, or open minded is based on me wanting to be seen as 'special' as compared to others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that wanting to be seen as "special" in the eyes of other people is something made up in the mind that is based on total self-interest and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want to be seen as special instead of living here in the physical within equality and oneness. I realize that no one is special and that real living is living here in the physical within equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that wanting/desiring others to think of me as special or unique is because I have not yet cared for me and been intimate with myself. I realize that when we want others to see us as special/unique/different that we do so because we haven't lived and care for our own selves and that we will need something outside of us to make up for the reason why we don't care for ourselves.

1 comment:

  1. Good on you bro. I have smoked weed for 10 years and I quit, for the last time on Saturday. I am 23 years young and reading your blog has helped walk me through some emotional oversights I have needed to face for years.

    Thanks heaps brother.

    PS. You're a legend and hell rad in my books

    ReplyDelete