Saturday, October 6, 2012

Day 60: Don't like Reading and prefer Hearing

I have always preferred listening to something rather than reading something ever since I was a child. Today I sometimes copy/paste things that I don't feel like reading into this program called "free natural reader" so I can hear a computer type of voice speaking. It seems that I can only read things that I am interested in and if I am not interested in the thing I am reading my mind will drift away and have to re-read certain sections because I missed it. This is something anyone can probably relate to. Say for instance, you read a paragraph in a book or something online and when you get done reading it you don't remember what you just read. This shows a lack of attention and/or going into the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can only read things that I am interested in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss reading certain things that I am not interested in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I can't hold my attention long enough on reading something that I don't find interesting not realizing I have set myself up for not being able to hold my attention on reading things that I don't find interesting through the initial thought of thinking "I can't hold my attention on reading this because it is boring."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that reading what I only want to read is based on energy and self-interest.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that reading things that I don't necessarily want to read is actually a form of self-support and it is me pushing myself to do something that I don't want/desire feel like doing.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the connection between doing things I don't like doing and discipline as I realize being disciplined means doing things that one doesn't want to do when the time comes that they should be done.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the thoughts of not wanting to read something when I prefer to hear it is actually me calling out for me to take self-responsibility for the things that I don't want to.

 I realize that there is nothing wrong with using the free natural reader program but to use it because a feeling comes up of not wanting to read something because I don't think I can hold my attention long enough through the reading is actually a sign that I need to do the things that I don't enjoy doing and is a sign of not being disciplined.

I commit myself to read something everyday that I don't think I can hold my attention on besides the homework that I have.

I commit myself to notice when I don't feel like reading something that would be beneficial to read or necessary to read such as homework and within this I commit myself to push myself to read when and as I notice this type of resistance that comes up within/as me.



 

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