Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Day 63: Don't like Reading and prefer Hearing part 2

 This is a continuation Day 60: Don't like Reading and prefer Hearing
                                 Day 61: More on Reading

What is interesting is that I don't have to use a program like "free natural reader" in order to 'Hear' what I am reading. I can read the shit out loud therefore I am actually hearing and reading at the same time. This is actually participating in the physical through the very act of voicing the words instead of using a computer voice to hear it, lol. This is something that I am going to have to experiment with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize, and understand that I can read whatever it is that I am reading out loud.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize, and understand that reading out loud is a physical act as compared to using a program like "free natural reader" that allows me to sit back and listen which makes it easier to go into the mind and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the program "free natural reader" when I don't 'feel' like reading instead of realizing that I can read aloud whatever it is that I am reading.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize, and understand that with reading whatever it is that I am reading out loud allows me to hear and read at the same time which makes it easier to notice when and as I go into the mind and drift off into thoughts and backchat. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that reading whatever it is that I am reading out loud is going to be the solution to my want/desire/preference to hearing things instead of reading them not realizing that this want/desire/preference was only a thought of how I want automatic satisfaction that has occurred through going into the mind instead of actually walking through it in space and time.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want my patterns/habits to go away quickly instead of realizing that my patterns/habits that I participate in were formed in space and time and that the only way to change my patterns/habits is through space and time not through going into the mind with a made up image of how I want/desire my patterns to change.

When and as I notice myself wanting/desiring to use the free natural reader program in order to hear what it is that I am reading - I stop and I breathe. I realize that reading something out loud is something that I am going to have to experiment with and that reading something, whatever it is, out loud actually places me in the act of participating in the physical by using my voice. I commit myself to experiment with reading things out loud when and as I feel the need to listen to something using the free natural reader program.

I commit myself to notice when and as I go into the mind while reading silently or out loud and within this I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I notice that I am not understanding what it is that I am reading.

I commit myself to notice when and as I desire/want automatic solutions to the patterns/habits that I participate in and within this I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as these feelings of wanting/desiring my patterns that I participate in to automatically go away, realizing that the automatic want/desire of my patterns/habits to go away is a thought and that changing my patterns/habits can only be changed by walking here in the physical, breath by breath.








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