Friday, November 2, 2012

Day 75: Shitting and Reading

This is a continuation : Day 74: I am not good at reading and hate school


When I have an assignment for a class I tend to read in small spurts of time. For example, I sometimes keep my book in the bathroom so that when I take a shit I read what is required for me to be prepared for class because reading while taking a shit can be kind of comforting. It is funny that I read the stuff for school that I call shit in my mind while I am taking a shit, LOL. So reading in these small spurts of time don't allow me to actually retain much of the material that was read.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read material for class in small spurts of time because I think the material is going to be boring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect reading material for class to an emotional experience of being bored.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I think the readings I must do for the classes I am in will be boring because I have defined myself as a "creative" person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read material in small spurts for classes thinking that that is the only way I can hold my attention on the material that I am reading long enough and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a small attention span.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read material for my classes while taking a shit - defining reading while taking a shit to be comfortable and that I will be able to hold my attention on the material that I think is 'boring' I am reading because I am taking a shit.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that reading material for classes that I don't care for while taking a shit is a habit that I have created.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I don't retain the material that I am reading if I only read one or two pages at a time and that when I pick up the book again to read I am not quite sure what I read before.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to set a time out for myself to read material that I must read for my classes, say for 30 minutes to an hour as I realize/see/understand that by setting out a specific time for reading that I will be able to retain more of the information that I read allowing me to understand the material in a clearer way.


I realize/see/understand that by reading the material for my classes in small spurts results in me not being able to remember the information in a clear manner and that my whole starting point is based on me thinking that I won't be able to hold my attention on the material long enough because I have defined the material I have to read for my classes as 'un-creative'

I realize/see/understand that thoughts of thinking that studying/reading/preparing for the classes I am taking are boring because I don't think it is entertaining as the so called creative activities that I participate in like playing music therefore not realizing that I have defined certain obligations/activities that must me done as enjoyable and others that are not enjoyable.


I realize/see/understand that I have not set out a specific time for me to read the material that I must read in order to prepare for class/tests/assignments and I realize that within this I do so because it is based on a habit.


I commit myself to notice when and as I have the desire to read just a little bit of the material for an assignment I have in school in spurts of time required for a class.

I commit myself to notice when and as I have emotional feelings of thinking that what I have to read for class is going to be boring and I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as these emotional feelings of boredness come up within me.

I commit myself to stop all definitions that I have created about myself and the material I have to read in order to prepare for class.

I commit myself to stop reading the material that I must read for class in order to be prepared in small spurts of time as I see/realize/understand that I will understand that material in a more thorough and clearer way if I set out periods of time for myself to read for my classes instead of small spurts of time.

I commit myself to stop reading my assignments while taking a shit through my self-commitment of setting aside at least 30 minutes at a time for reading the assignments that I must prepare for.

I commit myself to stop the habit of reading my assignments for class while taking a shit and I commit myself to stop all multitasking while taking a shit thus commiting myself to the physical through the act of taking a shit.







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