Sunday, November 4, 2012
Day 76: Early experiences of 'Love'
So I am going to start investigating my early experiences of Love and relationships up to this very day. There is quite a bit to go through so I am going to start here with my earliest experience of when I thought I was in Love.
My experience with love goes back to when I was in high school and had my first serious girlfriend. This was the girl I lost my virginity to, I was 15 years old. I was in a punk rock band with her brothers and we would practice a few times a week so I was always over at her house after school until the evening. I thought it was awesome that I got to hang out with my girlfriend and then go play music and later skateboard with one of her brothers and then hang back out with her. This went on for about 9-10 months. Her mom had an affair with another guy and things started to change. They divorced and I could tell the impact it had on her and her two brothers. All of a sudden her mom moved out to be with the guy she had an affair with and her dad had a new woman with two kids who moved in. A very quick change in the matter of months. Eventually she ended up going to a church thing that was of the Apostolic faith with a friend in band. She ended up making out with another guy at the church function. I blamed this on her mom and believed if it wasn’t for her mom cheating on her dad it wouldn’t have happened. I was devastated. I ended up losing a lot of weight because I was so emotionally depressed. The next day I went to her house and she said how she was sorry and wanted to still stay with me but I knew it was over. The school called my mom telling her that I didn't show up for school. Eventually my mom called and told me that she was going to pick me up and bring me back to the middle school where she taught and was going to let my band director take me back to high school as he was gonna be on his way there anyway. My band director supported me because he went through a similar experience in his marriage. We talked for an hour or so. After this I went to my other classes for that day. The girl I was with became Apostolic and ended up wearing the long dresses and grew her hair out. I then began to hate those who were “Apostolic” and would judge anyone I saw with a long dress and long hair. No matter where I was - if I saw an Apostolic person I would become filled with anger.
A lot more to come as I am going to go through all the "Love" experiences I have had.