Monday, November 12, 2012

Day 81: Early experiences of 'Love [Part 6]

I am continuing my experiences of being in Love and experiences of being in relationships. After I broke my ankle while at the skate park with one of my friends and had my nervous breakdown I moved back home with my mom and dad. I ended up hanging out with one of my friends in high school after I moved back to my parents. She was part of the group I associated myself with in high school. We would always mess around sexually but never became "boyfriend and girlfriend". We were what you could call "friends with benefits". We would always get drunk and fool around and have sex. We were very open in front of our close friends but when someone who wasn't close to us came around we wouldn't be very open. I remember "falling in love" with her around this time but she just wanted to be friends and stay with her boyfriend. I saw her as this hippy loving, open minded girl who was unlike any other person.

After I moved back with my parents we became "boyfriend and girlfriend". I basically ended up living with her because I couldn't stand living with my parents. Later we moved to a city 2 hours away with my "best friend". I worked at Kroger, took a few classes and practiced my horn. That was all I did. At first everything was cool but living together with my "best friend" and my girlfriend didn't work out that well. I remember having secret thoughts about my "best friend" like "I don't want him living here" "He just wants attention" "His artwork isn't real, just creates things for shock value" We were very passive with each other. He ended up having a nervous breakdown after a situation with one of the guys he was seeing and dropped out of school and moving out.

A few months later we moved to another town so I could continue with my degree in music education. So my ex-girlfriend came with me. So after 2 years of being together I started to "fall out of love". I thought she wasn't motivated to do anything with her life and that she had no passion for anything. I ended up meeting some music students. I thought "these girls are living, they are motivated to get up and practice" and I was attracted to that. So I ended up cheating. I became very passive to my ex-girlfriend and I broke up with her and she moved out. A few months later I ended up going into a relationship with one of the girls I met that I had music classes with. I will go into that experience of "love" next.

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