Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Day 89: Self-Honesty is what?

I have always thought it to be good to be honest, to always tell the truth in all situations. I remember a situation when I was younger where I told the truth to my parents about something wrong I did. I don’t remember exactly what it was but I do remember my father saying something like “You told the truth and didn’t lie - so that is good”. So I was admitting to whatever it was (I can’t remember) that I did wrong. I remember not wanting to tell my parents because I would have normally been punished but this time my dad said “You told the truth and didn’t lie - so that is good”.

Now that I look at my reasons for being honest I realize that it is always a justification to make me seem like I am a good person. I sometimes think, “At least I told the truth”. Why would I have to justify in my mind or to another for telling the truth or being honest? The reason why I justify my ‘honesty’ is because of my self dishonesty. This is actually a point of manipulation because I justify to people my ‘honesty’ in order to make them want to like me just because I am ‘honest’.

I now see, realize, and understand that honesty and Self Honesty are two completely different things. My honesty has been to/towards authority/parents/the system. Self Honesty is doing what is best for all and has nothing to do with honesty towards the system or authority. So that means that if you are doing what is best for all then you will be working with those in the system. It means checking out who you are within not only the environment around you but all life as it exists here and now.

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