Thursday, November 29, 2012

Day 90: Self Honesty is what [Part Two]


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory of telling the truth to my parents for something I did wrong and remembering my father saying “You told the truth and didn’t lie and that is good” and after telling the truth having a feeling of relief after I told the truth and I now see, realize, and understand that it was a point of guilt and a fear of being punished that caused me to tell the truth and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define honesty as telling the truth and speaking what is on my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that telling the truth that exists within/as my mind at all times is a good thing instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I have been taught to tell the truth and that if I don’t tell the truth I will be punished not realizing that the whole point of being honest/telling the truth was based on fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being honest as in speaking what is on my mind as the moment it comes up is something that makes me a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “At least I am being honest and telling the truth” and thinking that telling the truth is a moral action that makes me a good person.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I use being ‘honest’ as a justification towards others so that I seem like a good person because I am telling the truth or being ‘honest’ not realizing, seeing, and understanding that in doing this I am wanting the other person to see/perceive me as a honest or good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be honest from a starting point of manipulating others into thinking I am a good person just because I am apparently 'honest' and tell it like it is.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that justifying to myself or another my own 'honesty' is a form of manipulation by the very starting point of justifying my 'honesty'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that Self Honesty is doing what is best for all life and that I can check out in any moment if I am living within/as the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the difference between 'Honesty' and 'Self Honesty'.

To be cont...




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