Sunday, December 2, 2012

Day 93: My beef with education and academic teachers [Part Two]


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this class is about learning and explaining what the philosophers views are we were assigned to read.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I have to study for classes I don't enjoy instead of realizing that studying for classes I don't like is a part of what I have to do in order to graduate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep participating in an emotional experience of anger and project it towards my teachers either in person or through backchat not realizing that I have been doing this for years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my beliefs to turn into backchat towards my teacher having thoughts of why he is wrong for what he believes in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs in my mind of why I am right and someone else is wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain in my writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my teacher for the way he conducts our class time not realizing that it is not about him but my reactions towards him so I am responsible for my own reactions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the thoughts that turn into beliefs and then turn into reactions when something doesn't line up with these beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know more than my teacher because of the knowledge and information I have received through desteni not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am using knowledge and information in order to justify why I think I am smarter than my teacher thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am smarter than my teacher which separates me from my teacher and I place myself in a position of believing that I am better than him.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the educational system today trains teachers in a certain way and that it is not a teachers fault for teaching how they do because it is required by the system thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the system for my anger towards what we have to learn in school today and I realize that I will have to work with the system instead of separating myself from it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that changing a system is more likely if one is a part of it not realizing that if one is not part of a system it is less likely to be changed.

I commit myself to understand what it is that the classes I am taking are about and the assignments we are required to do and if I don't to ask questions instead of waiting till the last minute to ask questions.

I commit myself to accept what it is that I must do in order to complete my classes and graduate.

I commit myself to notice when and as I become angry at a teacher for what we have to do in a class and to investigate what thoughts have caused these reactions of anger to come up within me.

I commit myself to investigate the beliefs I have and when these beliefs turn into emotional experiences of anger when someone doesn't agree with my beliefs.

I commit myself to notice when and as I have backchat of knowledge and information that I justify to myself as to why I am right and another person is wrong.

I commit myself to work with the educational system that exists today instead of separating myself from it.









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