Saturday, December 15, 2012
Day 99: Hope
Sometimes I think that things are going to work out just fine. I use hope as an escape goat in order to not face myself and my responsibilities. It has always seemed that everything has worked out besides the small shit we all go through who have or have been supported with enough money unlike those without or who are not supported with money.
I sometimes think (this just happened after my last final exam the other day) that when I graduate everything will be fine and life will be ok but what I am really doing is using hope. Hope as a way to hide behind the fear that exists within and as me. I realize that I use ‘hope’ when I am not even aware of when I use ‘hope’. It has become so conditioned that I am not aware of it most of the time. So, when I use hope I go into the mind in order to think things will work out and be just fine. Which means I am just standing still with no actual movement.