This is a continuation from days 106, 107, and 108
When and as I notice myself thinking of sounding like Freddie Hubbard or other players while playing - I stop and I breathe. I see/realize/understand that copying another person's sound over and over and over again does not lead to me expressing me as me in every moment but only leads to me to get better at copying another persons sound and I realize this is not real expression but imitation. I commit myself to express me as me in every moment of breath while playing music and to forgive myself when and as I notice a preconceived idea of who or what I desire to sound like take myself over.
When and as I notice something outside and separate from me making me feel motivated/inspired and I notice the energetic feeling of being inspired coming up within/as me - I stop and I breathe. I see/realize/understand that being inspired/motivated by something separate from me is based on energy that ends up running out. I commit myself to notice when/as something separate from me makes me feel inspired/motivated to express myself in whatever expression it may be and to apply self-forgiveness accordingly.
When and as I notice the desire/want of hearing/reading something outside of myself to get me inspired to play music or any other expression it may be - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I do not require something separate from me in order for me to express myself as I am. I commit myself to stop all desire/want of being inspired by something separate and outside of me and to express myself as who I am in the moment of expressing myself.