Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 131: Writing and Space and Time

This is related to days 128 and 129.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate while writing, thinking if what I am writing will be seen as cool from others therefore presenting a fake presentation of myself not realizing that writing in a state of where I care what others think about me is not self supportive at all.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I am writing in a state of hesitation that I tend to sit and think of what I should write about because I want others to read what I write and think I am a smart or bright person which only shows my ego and how I want to project it onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop and think if what I am writing is and will be seen as acceptable by others instead of writing me as me and not realizing that writing with the idea in mind of wondering if others will think of my writing shows that my writings are not self supportive in any way but just a mental projection of how I want others to see me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of what others will think of my self forgiveness and if it is effective or not instead of realizing that it is not effective when I approach self forgiveness in this state because I am doing forgiveness based on an idea in my mind of what I think and want others to think about me which only confirms my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want myself to change in a quick way not realizing that when I want change to happen in a quick way that I have imagined myself as haved changed which causes a good feeling to happen within me and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that change happens in space and time and not as an automatic want/desire that happens in the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to walk points that I am working on in space and time instead of realizing that I walked stopping smoking weed in space and time and that is the only way change is possible instead of imagining myself having changed something about myself as I realize imagining myself having changed something about myself is not real because it hasn't been walked in space and time and that imagining myself as have changed something about myself creates a good feeling inside of me that is based on imagination instead of physical space and time.

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