This is related to days 128,129, and 131.
I realize that when and as I am writing and I am thinking about what others will think about my writings and my self forgiveness that I am not supporting myself.
I realize that writing here with no thought is the only way to express myself as me and that the more I am in a thinking state of mind while writing myself out the more I deceive myself and others.
I realize taking on points within me that I want to change in a way that is based on what is best for all has to be walked in space and time.
I realize that imagining myself having changed something about myself is how I deceive myself into not walking the points I am currently facing in space and time.
I realize that I stopped smoking weed in space and time and that it took patience, consistency and self honesty and realize that this is the only way that I can change myself.
I commit myself to express me as me when and as I am writing in a self supportive way and to not present a fake presentation of myself to make myself seem that I am changing or to seem that I am smart in the eyes of others.
I commit myself to when I stop and think about what to write about when and as I am writing to step back and do something else for a while in order to stop my mind from thinking and once this mind stops to come back to writing myself out when I am clear and free from trying to create ideas about what I should be writing and what I think others will see as cool.
I commit myself to when I stop and think/wonder what someone else would think of my writings while I am writing to stop and breathe and not continue while in this state while writing and if I can't stop it to stop and do something else for a while until I am free from this thinking mind and then come back to writing in order to write in a clear state and not in this thinking mind state.
I commit myself to not accept or allow myself to imagine myself have changed with the points that I am taking on, thinking and imagining how I have changed and to walk the points I am working on in space and time meaning day by day and breathe by breathe.