Saturday, March 9, 2013

Day 144: I don't feel like doing the dishes part 2

This is a continuation from  Day 143: I don't feel like doing the dishes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off cleaning the dishes until I have none left to use and all the dishes are dirty and am forced to clean some dishes so that I can make some food and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I put off cleaning the dishes because of my own self interest - putting my own desires before doing the necessary things that must be done to live in a clean/healthy environment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think "oh I should clean those dishes so they don't start to pile up but I don't feel like doing that right now"and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I say to myself "oh I should clean those dishes so they don't start to pile up but I don't feel like doing that right now" that I end up saying it again when I make some food and put those dishes in the sink creating a pile of dishes

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I say/think to myself "oh I should clean those dishes so they don't start to pile up but I don't feel like doing that right now" is a direct indication that I should do the dishes and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I don't do the dishes when I say "oh I should clean those dishes so they don't start to pile up but I don't feel like doing that right now" that I end up saying the same thing the next time I eat and have more dirty dishes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a "I don't feel like doing it" character where in my mind I have created a negative feeling towards doing the dishes because I don't find doing the dishes to be stimulating and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I don't do the dishes because it is not stimulating and not realizing that this stimulation that I seek/desire/want to have means that I will lose the stimulation/energy that I seek/desire/want while doing the dishes.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that by participating in the "I don't feel like doing it" character that I am living out the programming that exists within/as me and that if I were to do that which I don't feel like doing I will not be living as the "I don't feel like doing it character" but be directing myself and I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I go into the "I don't feel like doing it" character that I do so because I am in a positive experience/feeling and that doing the dishes or stepping out of the "I don't feel like doing it" character would move me into a negative experience/feeling.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize the polarity caused by going into the "I don't feel like doing it" character - not realizing that stepping out of the "I don't feel like doing it" character causes me to go from a character that I enjoy participating in that has a positive feeling connected to it and not realizing that if I am participating in a character that has a positive feeling connected to it that it is connected to an energetic feeling within me that feels good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to a fast food restaurant because I don't feel like cleaning the huge pile of dishes in the sink not realizing that I have created the huge pile of dishes based on living out the "I don't feel like doing it" character and I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that by going to a fast food restaurant when I have the choice to eat the food I have that I am doing so because I don't want to be taken away from the "I don't feel like doing it" character and therefore go to a fast food restaurant so I can stay in character and not face what would actually support me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have written about putting off cleaning the dishes before but have not realized/seen/understood the energetic feelings connected with the activities that I participate in that I label as positive or negative in my mind that create me to go into character from character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off cleaning the dishes and when I do clean the dishes they are quite nasty with gunk/shit on them because I have ignored cleaning them not realizing that when I put off doing the dishes I am in the "I don't feel like doing it" character thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the "I don't feel like doing it" character.




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