Monday, April 15, 2013

Day 157: Putting Things Off Until the Last Minute Part Two

I just finished this paper that I have been putting off for months and feel a load of relief. The fucked up thing is that I knew what the consequences of putting this paper off would do but I did it anyway. I never felt like doing the research for this paper. I used the word "felt" which is a feeling. I just wanna do things when I think they should be done or when I "feel" like doing them.

This shows me that I do my daily activities based on self interest. I do things when I feel like doing them without considering the consequences it has on myself and others. I put my own desires of being in a "comfortable" "happy" "positive" state without realizing that I am actually creating myself to end up going into the opposite polarity at some time. Staying in this "happy" "positive" and "comfortable" state is something I do all the time.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in a state of doing assignments until the last minute not realizing that I place myself in a stressful state of being which creates the opposite effect when the assignment is done therefore living within and as a constant fluctuation of ups and downs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things only when I feel like doing them not realizing that I am living in complete self interest when and as I do this, only caring for my own happiness and comfortable state of mind and I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that only doing things when I feel like doing them is a confirmation of my own self interest and also confirms that I am not living in a way that is best for all.

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