Thursday, April 18, 2013

Day 160: Charles Bukowski and My Rant Part Two


Continued from Day 159: Charles Bukowski and My Rant




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed watching and hearing Bukowski talk about the system to create an emotional experience of anger within me instead of realizing that he was not the one who created the anger within me because it already existed within me thus I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize and be aware of the anger that exists within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed hearing and watching Bukowski to trigger anger within me, getting angry at the system and how things work in this world. 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am part of this world and taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed is a way to remove this anger/hate towards the world. 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am actually angry at myself and what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as, the patterns and habits. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be aware of how I have repeated the same patterns and habits for years and haven't taken responsibility for changing them as I realize I can't change them all at once but one by one, day by day, breath by breath and within this I also realize that taking self responsibility for the patterns and habits I have accepted and allowed to continue is the only way to lessen the anger that exists within and as me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place so much attention on the fuckedness of this world to the point of blinding myself from myself and what I accept and allow as I realize it is important to know what is going on in this world but have focused on it so much where I blind myself from myself and blame the outside world and the system instead of taking self responsibility for myself. 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that the tools of desteni have allowed me to see the tip of the iceberg, barely scratched the surface so to say that is me not realizing an iceberg is huge so this is a process. 

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