Saturday, June 8, 2013

Day 184: Job Jitters Part Two

Continued from  Day 183: Job Jitters



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself while driving to an interview to imagine how things may go; if they will go good or bad, thinking if the manager will like me and think that I am cool or not like me and think I am weird, and thinking of getting the job or not getting the job 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to while sitting in my car and waiting for the interview to start to wonder if I will get a job not realizing that this wondering is an emotional experience of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit in my car thinking about how the interview could go not realizing that while I was sitting in my car and waiting for the interview to start I was in a zombie like state of mind and was not aware that I am here in the physical breathing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I will be in debt for my whole life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in debt. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weird because I stumbled over my words and felt nervous and was not confident with myself in the interview I had.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a weak person because I perceived that I wasn't confident in myself in the interview. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the question "So, tell me about yourself" in a state of fear not realizing that all the thoughts and images I have made up about how the interview could go led up to me reacting in a nervous way because I imagined how things in the interview could go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as stupid because I stumbled over my words in the interview I had.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that feeling stupid for stumbling over my words while in the interview means that I care/cared what the interviewer thought about me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that thinking/imagining/wondering how a job interview will go is based on polarity because I 'desire/want' things to go well and I 'fear' that things will not go well.

When and as I see myself wondering/thinking/imagining how a job interview may go; thinking if it may go well or not - I stop and I breathe. I realize that thinking/wondering/imagining how a job interview may go does nothing but cause nervousness within me because I 'desire/want' the interview to go well which creates fear within me because I 'don't want' the interview to go bad thus creating a mental polarity point of view. I commit myself to stop myself when and as I notice myself wondering/thinking/imagining how a job interview may go by breathing in and out and then physically switch my attention to what is in my immediate environment. I realize that stopping myself when wondering/thinking/imagining how something may go will be met with resistance and that the way to stop this pattern is to breathe when and as I notice that I am thinking/wondering/imagining how a job interview or anything else may go - stopping the zombie like wondering/thinking/imagining state of mind.


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