Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Day 187: Biotin and Hair Growth

So here again I am going through some past memories. When I was younger, freshman and sophomore year I wanted to grow my hair out. I thought that I would look cool if I had long hair and even tried to find ways of making it grow quicker than it would naturally. I remember going to a store where vitamins and other type of things were sold to help with the body. The body image. The protein shakes or other shit like that. I am not sure exactly what the purpose of this store was but they sold a lot of vitamins and health type things. Anyway, I wanted my hair to grow long and asked the person who was working if he knew of anything that would make hair grow quicker. He suggested biotin so I bought a bottle. I wanted my hair to be long so I could portray a certain type of image that I thought others would see as cool looking. It is no different than a woman using make up and fixing hair and that type of shit. I wanted my hair to grow quickly. I imagined myself with long hair and wanted/desired myself to have that image that I created. It is interesting because hair doesn't grow automatically but that is what I wanted it to do. I got sick of my hair not growing as quickly as I wanted it too so I ended up cutting it off very short like. I didn't have the patience to let it grow. Again, I was trying to portray an image of what I saw as cool. It is just like fashion. In my mind I wanted to be seen as a cool looking person, lol. I knew that if I cut it off short that these thoughts would stop and so that is what I did because I couldn't take it anymore. It is interesting because before coming across desteni I did the same thing as what many destonians have done and I as well have done which is shave the hair off. I couldn't stand living day by day and wanting to have a particular image of myself that I can't have.

When I visit my parents something similar happens. They moved to a new area and have planted a lot of trees. They are still very small but I imagine in my mind what they will look like years from now when they will be matured. I think "this area will look so cool in 10 to 20 years." I don't even see them from the living presence that they are but as a mental idea of how they might look 10 to 20 years from now.

This is all a futuristic mental projection.

I will continue with Self Forgiveness in my next post. 

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