Thursday, June 27, 2013

Day 198: Afraid to ask questions

I am taking an online class right now and have thought of emailing the teacher to make sure I understand everything correctly and somehow convinced myself that it wasn't necessary to email the teacher with my questions. After this, I started looking back on how I act in the classroom and realized that I don't ask questions when I really want to ask questions about something to do with assignments or not understanding the material. I know I should be asking the question but do not because I think others will think that I am stupid or that the question that I ask will be seen as stupid. LOL,

 What I have learned through this process is that when I say things like "I know I should be asking the question but do not because I think others will think that I am stupid or that the question that I ask will be seen as stupid" that I am believing my own thoughts and actually acting on them. In this case not asking questions because I believe others will think that the question I ask is stupid. It is me believing this bullshit not the other people. I have no idea what another person thinks, usually. So this is me acting on my own thoughts.This is a point of fear but it is mainly ego. Because I think others will think my questions are stupid it means that I fear stepping outside of the image that I believe I am. This is so fucked up because it is only me who believes this bullshit, lol.

Anytime I feel the need to ask questions and don't it is only because of Ego. Quite a fucked up thing.

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