Continued from days 202, 203 and 204
In this post I am continuing on with the imaginitive ideas about myself having changed something about myself; where I think of how something will be like in the future if I were to change something about myself. There are a lot of things that I would like to change about myself and they keep coming up within me. When I look back on what I have actually changed about myself it was one simple thing that I walked through for quite a while of time. Stopping weed and soda have been the most prominent habits I have changed.
This is the second summer that I have lived with my parents in a long time. Six years or so of not living with them besides visiting for a week or so on the holidays. I quit drinking soda for 8 months or so and have started to drink it again because every time I open the fridge it is right there. When I see it I want one and decide to drink one because it is right there. Sometimes when I am pissed off about something and open the fridge I see the soda and think "fuck it, it doesn't matter if I drink this soda or not." so I reach out and grab the can of pop.
When looking back at this habit of stopping soda it was the only thing that I was involved in changing. It was the simple choice of stopping all fizzy drinks besides beer and it was not as hard as I imagined it to be. There is so much shit I want to perfect about myself and I imagine myself as that person sometimes. I realize that I can only change one habit at a time because changing one habit at a time, a period of 1 to 6 or 8 months allowed me to walk it physically. But here again I am drinking soda because I have accepted and allowed myself to while seeing it right in front of me to grab it just because it is right in front of my ass.
So I realize that if I am to change a specific habit that I participate in it means that I can only walk that one habit otherwise it won't work. It is almost impossible for me to take stopping two addictions at the same time. This is related with the imagination factor. The way I imagine myself having changed a habit or addiction. I have noticed the more I walk just ONE POINT at a time the less these imagined thoughts of changing something about myself come up because when walking just one point at a time means that I am doing it physically. I am actually walking a point instead of imagining myself walking it.