It has been a while since I have written a blog or anything for that matter and this has shown me the benefits of writing myself out.
I am almost finished with college and I have used the excuse of this for not writing. Excuses like, I should be focusing on my studies and enjoying the few months I have left with with my friends. I also see that I fear graduating and my future after I graduate. I fear losing the party type life that I currently am living in.
I usually write about shit that I am going through. Shit within me that is existent. And I have noticed that if I don't put it down here on the computer or on paper that I easily miss the bullshit that I accept and allow. Writing myself out helps keep myself steady and self aware of what I accept and allow within me. Since this period of not writing I have been aware of things that I could write about. For example, something happened during the day and I noticed that this something would be well worth writing about/investigating but I didn't do it. I kind of, in a way, repress what I am going through through not writing about it. Then something else happens and everything turns into this smush where it is hard to see who I am or what I am doing with my life. This is how it has always been before I starting writing myself out but after writing for two or so years on a pretty consistent basis and then recently stopping I see this clearly. Everything becomes cloudy and fucked up.
This period of not writing has helped me realize that writing myself out helps me become self aware and it is a great fucking tool.