Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Day 217: More Conflict with Teachers

Recently I have had some conflict with a few of my teachers. So I am just going to write about what happened.

A teacher said he was going to do something that would benefit everyone in the section I was in which is about 8 people. I asked him once a week for three weeks and he didn't do what he said he was going to do. After the third time I asked him and he said that he didn't do it yet I got very pissed. On the inside I was angry at him but on the outside I acted like everything was ok. I thought shit like "He hasn't followed through with his commitment and this is messing with my education" and "What an asshole" Later I decided to email him and a few others about this situation. I basically said that he is not being a good teacher. In the email I talked how I would in front of his face. We both openly occasionally cuss. Sometimes I might say "I don't understand this shit" or something like that so I thought I could use the same language in the email. He didn't think it was appropriate for me to use that language in an email but he is ok with it in person. I was confused and still am about this. I got in trouble and had to see the dean and was told that I should never talk to a teacher like that and if I do it again and a teacher says something or complains then I will be kicked out of school. After this meeting and I saw this teacher I was full of anger. In class the next day when he was talking to us I just stared at him with a pissed of look on my face. I secretly wanted to let him know how pissed I was at him. I thought "He wants to get me kicked out of college for standing up for myself and my education" and things like "why do these teachers have multiple personality disorders where they act like a friend and then act like a dictator?"

After looking back on this I realize that what led me to send this blunt and angry email was backchat that has built up for quite some time. When I sent the email I was full of energy and was pretty much possessed. This possession led me to send the email. Every thought and emotion that I have had about him built up to the point where I went off. I thought sending this email to him and the other faculty was justified.

My buddy Garb told me something like "What if you were in his shoes? How would you react to a student that did the same thing to you?" I always think that I am good at placing myself in the shoes of another, at least with my imagination but obviously I don't do this with people who piss me off.

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