Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Not writing helps me see Part Two

Continued from Day 215

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of almost being done with school for not writing myself self out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of focusing on my school studies to justify to myself for why I shouldn't write myself out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of spending time with my friends to justify to myself the reason why I haven't been writing myself out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the friendships I have made during college.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the uncertainty of my future after college and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I won't be able to find a job when I am done with college.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear moving back in with my parents when I am done with college and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the party lifestyle that I participate in here at college.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not write myself out when I am aware of things going on within me that need to be investigated and not realizing that writing myself out would support me and when I ignore these emotions, feelings, thoughts, imaginations, patterns I repress them and then more things happen within me to where everything becomes cloudy and within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize how easy it is to fall back into old patterns when I repress what is going on within me by not investigating myself.

I commit myself to investigate any excuses that may come up within me for justifying why it is I shouldn't write and excuses for why I should spend my time doing other things that I view as more important.

I commit myself to investigate through writing myself out the things that I fear losing and the fear I have of the future.

I commit myself to write out what is going on within me and the things that I am consistently aware of so I can sort these things out instead of letting them continue to the point where I repress them and just go along with the motions.

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