Thursday, September 25, 2014

Day 242: Communication at the work place

I wrote about slowing down and breathing through the rush hours during work the other day and have applied it ever since. Thinking that this would help with how up tight, pent up, and stressed I get while I am constantly running around for hours non stop bussing tables, cutting bread, refilling water, tea, setting up parties, etc.. I was able to slow down a bit and breathe a little easier although I was still pent up. So what has happened is that I was slower than usual. I made it a point within myself to not accept and allow my body to get that overwhelming feeling. It still existed but it was not intense as usual, which is cool. But something else happened. 

I noticed a waitress complaining to another waitress about me not bussing her tables quick enough. While going back and forth from the dining room to the kitchen I noticed this waitress complaining. It kept going on. I was aware of this gossip for quite a while so every time I was moving between the kitchen and the dining room I would see this waitress. I did not hear what was being said but just knew it through the body language. I wasn't aware of any backchat but just an angry emotion like 'oh there she is'. Next time from the kitchen to the dining room a feeling came up like "ugh." It was a noticing of seeing her. Right when I was going to bus her table she darts in front of me and starts picking up the dishes. She made it a point that I see her do this. Her body language was angry when she did this. I responded in a smart ass voice "Thank you ma'am", while walking to another table that needed to be bussed.  LOL, so I was obviously still edgy and pent up. While I was at the next table I stopped and breathed and I wasn't as angry as I usually would have been. I would have usually had backchat going on for a while but it was simply a noticing of what happened and that was it. I realized that seeing this gossip going on led me to be a smart ass. If backchat was going on I couldn't notice it because I was constantly doing physical things. 

Later on I was talking to the manager and told him "I am sure some servers have talked to you." He said yeah and that I was doing great with everything and that I am bussing my ass off except prioritizing all the multiple duties that I am responsible for and I agreed with him. We talked for a while about prioritizing my duties in a more efficient way and it was cool. I also made a suggestion to him that if anyone else has a suggestion then they should communicate it to me instead of being passive aggressive. So I explained the situation to him. Later on, that server came up to me and apologized and told me that she was being a bitch and we communicated with each other about how things went during the day.

After reflecting on this day it makes me realize that communication between individuals is important otherwise backchat, emotional feelings, and passive aggressive behavior tends to occur.

tbc.




Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Day 241: Reacting to Co-Workers Part 2

I commit myself to when and as I am reacting to my co workers through calling them names in my head to stop and breathe in and out. I realize that during the times when we are busy at work that I tend to be on edge and I realize that stopping myself through breathing in and out a few times during the busy times will help lessen the building up of tension and up tightness within me.

I commit myself to when and as I am moving into an up tight state of body and mind during the busy hours at work to stop and breathe. I realize that going into this up tight state of body and mind doesn't make me do things faster and makes me more likely to make a mistake as I have only dropped glasses when I am in this state. I realize that I want and desire to do all of my responsibilities at work as quick as I can so I can make others happy in my mind, how I want others to think about me. I realize this is an idealized idea of how I want others to see me - I want others to think "Wow! he is working hard." I commit myself to work efficiently during the busy times at work and to not accept and allow the up tight feeling that I feel in my body to continue building through stopping it when and as I notice it through breathing in and out.

I commit myself to when and as I get mad at someone for forgetting my name to stop and breathe in and out. I realize that I have called others by the wrong name and that getting mad at someone for forgetting my name is silly.

I commit myself to bring back all judgments I have towards others at work back to myself and to investigate myself and the judgment that I have made toward that person/persons.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Day 240: Reacting to Co-Workers

At work I tend to dislike the hostesses because they come up to me and tell me that a table needs to be set for 6, 8, or 16, or whatever. One of the hostesses I don't like because she always calls me by the wrong name. The other day she called me Todd or something and I said my name is John. She said, "whatever, I need table 62 and 63 for 8" When I walked away I said "Bitch" in my mind.

Why did I take this personally and and call her a bitch in my mind? Before my shift was over I realized that we were both busy. The backchat or name calling in my mind occurred during the lunch rush. I also don't know all the duties she is responsible for so I don't know what it is like to work her job. My reaction was automatic and had to do more with me than her. During the rush hours I notice I get very up tight and am on edge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the hostess who called me by the wrong name and while walking away to call her a bitch in my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when she called me by the wrong name that it triggered the memory of her calling me by the wrong name in the past and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memories of her calling me by the wrong name and not realizing that I was accepting and allowing these memories to build up to the point of calling her a bitch in my mind. 


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I called the hostess a bitch in my mind that it was during the rush hour and I was pent up. I realize that when I am pent up and up tight that I am very much more likely to react automatically. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become pent up and up tight during the rush hour, thinking that I have to bus every table as quickly as I can not realizing that this type of thinking is what puts me on edge and makes me up tight. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a pent up and up tight state of mind and to then take it out on another person in my mind.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I don't know what it is like to do another person's job so my judgment of that person is completely invalid. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to call another person a bitch in my mind because they forgot my name as I realize that I have forgot others names as well.

tbc