Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Day 243: Recognizing Frustration

I realize that being at work puts me in a frustrated mood. Everyday is an opportunity for me to breathe through this frustration. What I see is that this mood I go into during the busy times at work is very similar to a mood I experience in other areas in my life. It is hard to explain. When I was in college I would go into this state of mind a lot - the same experience of frustration I experience at work.

So I have recognized this state of mind I go into when I am frustrated and it really is a state of mind because when this frustration happens I look at everything around me in a negative way. When I am bussing tables in the bar I always see the hostesses and I've noticed something that helps me recognize when I am in this frustrated mood or state of mind. When I am in this mood and I am bussing tables near the bar I might think, "I am bussing my fucking ass off and running around everywhere, I just cut my finger cutting bread and all you do is stand their doing nothing. Why don't you do something?" If I am not in this frustrated mood these type of thoughts wouldn't come up and I simply notice the hostesses. I see them standing at the front and that is it. The more frustrated I am, the more backchat.

When I was in this frustrated mood today I saw my boss walk by and I thought, "You scheduled me 2 double shifts in a row and another morning shift. I am going to be living here for the next three days. This is bullshit." I told him that I needed to talk to him when he had a moment. Hours went by and he asked me what I wanted to talk to him about. I was rolling silverware during this time so I wasn't as pent up and running around everywhere. I asked him about the schedule and we talked about trading shifts with other employees. If I would have asked him about this while in the frustrated mood I would have came off as an asshole, lol.

So I realize and understand that when I am in these moods that I tend to see everything in a negative way and that the mood will eventually pass and I also realize that making decisions in these types of moods/state of mind is not beneficial. Maybe that is why the old phrase, "Sleep on it" exists, lol.

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